(Dan and me talking about Hawaii)
"I'll bet money that Elig would thrive there too -- art
... and Phipps would love the surfing ... Galligan would love the queers ... and we could push Foreman into the sea! Sweetness."
- Deej
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Aww man, you guys, this party's gonna be crazy-go-nuts!"
- Strong Bad
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Give it up for me!.........guys?" - Strong Bad
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Hey, stupid! I brought you this stuff!...I mean, I made
you this veggieburger!" - Homestar
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Mr. Cichon - "So, about addictions...did you know that Hugh
Hefner has an addiction to caffene? He drinks at least 50 to 60 cans of Pepsi cola a day.
James Corey - "Whoa! He's gotta have amazing bladder
control."
Ryan Jeffrey - "Does it matter? It's not like he keeps his
pants on anyway..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Carter - *Eats buffalo wings and throws bones aside*
McGarry - "Carter! What the hell are you doing?!"
Carter - "...I'm eating chicken, Matt."
McGarry - "But you're throwing the bones away!"
Carter - "Yeah, and?"
McGarry - "Aren't you Indians supposed to use ALL of the
animal?"
Me - "Haha! Yeah, Squanto. Go make some fish hooks!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"The only thing I've come to trust, is an orgasmic rush
of lust." - Rocky Horror Picture Show
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Sticks and stones may break my bones...but I'm Jesus and
you're not." - Jesus; South Park
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"No, no, I've heard of it...I think they call it 'common
sense'." - Vinacco
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Kristen - "Oh look! Indians!"
Me - "Those are clowns..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"So, I figure I'll try to reform myself...hehe...then the
world ends." - Deej
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"That fucking kid! He just starts screaming at 4:00 in the
morning. It's like the fuckin' Jersey Devil on the third floor..." - Brad Maloney, talking about his tenament.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"I got him lifelike chicken and sillystring for Christmas...cause
who the hell wouldn't want lifelike chicken and sillystring for Christmas?" - Ryan
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"We first fought the heathens in the name of religion, then
communism, and now in the name of drugs and terrorism. Our excuses for global domination always change." - Little Vinacco
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"I'm just a sweet transvestite...from Transsexual, Transylvania."
- Rocky Horror Picture Show
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Janet - "This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad!
Brad - "They're probably foriegners with ways different
than our own. They may do some more... folk dancing."
-RHPS
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" - Ayla
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Erin - "Is Kurt really gay, or is he just kidding?"
Me - "HAHA!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"If you fall off a horse, screw it. Not literally, of course,
but you get the point." - Amanda
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you! I have an ear infucktion!
Let me finger it out for you!" - Foss
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Josh, you're insane." - Vinacco (how true it is!!!)
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"And now...a taste of things to come." - Shang Tsung
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Kurt - "What's more disturbing than a dead baby?"
Me - "What?"
Kurt - "Half of a dead baby. It kinda makes
you wonder where the other half is."
Me - "Ughhh..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Yeah, I was fat when I was a kid. My mom used to make me
3 salami sandwiches a day! 3! The kids at school used to call me 'Tommy Salami.' That's not a name for a 3rd grader, that's
what you call a mafia hitman...or a pornstar..." - Tom Papa
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Nowadays, kids can be anything they want to be, and their
parents encourage them. Not when I was growing up! We were told what our limitations were. I wanted to be an astronaut,
but my parents shot that down. 'Tommy, you can't be an astronaut. You're...you're almost retarded. And your head wouldn't
fit into the helmet...'" - Tom Papa
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"You can't do this to me! I'm Rainbow fucking Randolph!!!" - Robin Williams, Death
To Smoochy.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
*sees big ghetto kid in big blue shirt and matching pants with a white hat*
"Hey, it's Papa Smurf!" - Erin
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Be still my beating heart!...oops! *dies*" - Deej
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Deej - "How about the big blue room: i.e. the outdoors? The big blue room is a lie.
It's always grey. And the roof leaks."
D.A. - "...dude..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I'll never
know." - Groucho Marx
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Scott - "So I was thinking...I like animals, so maybe I'll be a vet."
Dr. Evil - "An evil vet?"
Scott - "No...maybe like, work in a petting zoo."
Dr. Evil - "An evil petting zoo?"
Scott - "You always do that!!!"
- "Austin Powers"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Eating peppermint ice cream is like giving a giant candy cane head..." - Sarah
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
"Teddy the Jello Troll wakes up to find he has inherited his mother's boobs. This kid hangs around Ponderosa
all day. He's got a really bad attitude for a troll." - Cliff Yablonski; Cliff Yablonski Hates You!
______________________________________________________________________________________
"The only real problem facing major league baseball is that everybody associated with it in any way is a drug
addict. This is beginning to affect the quality of the game:
Announcer: For those viewers who are just joining us, the game has been delayed slightly because the umpires
really wanted some nachos, and, also, the Yankees keep turning into giant birds. I can't remember seeing that happen in a
regular season game, can you, Bob?
Color Commentator (shrieking): THESE aren't my crayons!!!" - Dave Barry
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Rob - "Renaming the convention center to the 'Dunkin Donuts' center is the single stupidest thing Rhode Island
has ever done."
Me - "Naah...I think the giant Mr. Potatohead statues take the cake."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Kieth Richards makes the Osbournes look fucking Amish." - Robin Williams
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Remember a couple of years ago when they were saying that one of the Teletubbies was gay? Well, now, apparently,
they're saying the same thing about Spongebob. How the hell can they tell if a cartoon character is gay? I mean, he's thoughtful...and
sensitive...and has a pet snail named Gary...and absorbs a lot of fluids..." - Darrell Hammond
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"So can ya be la'kindnappyed?!" - Erin
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Kindly, coin-loving son. You deserve these moneys! My name is your DAD!" - Coinbird
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"A big earthquake with the
strength of 9.1 on the richter scale has hit Mexico. 150,000 Mexicans has died and over a million are wounded. The country
is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help. The rest of the world is in shock. Canada
is sending troops to help the Mexican army in controlling the riots. The countries in Europe are sending food and money. The
Unites States of America is sending 150,000 new Mexicans."
__________________________________________________________________________
Brad - "Hey."
Me *Away Message* - "It's 8:42 p.m. do you know where YOUR Josh is?"
Brad
- "My Josh is still in shipping."
________________________________________________________________________
"*insane laughter* I need to hang out with you more often..." - Deej
________________________________________________________________________
"On a scale of 1 to 10, 5 being the lowest and 7 being the highest...you score a 2." - Ryan
________________________________________________________________________
Erin - "I'm not feeling too good tonight. Can we hang out tomorrow?"
Me - "Okay, sure...but how about I brink a little chocolate bar that start's with an F...and
an L...and a A..."
Erin - "A flake? naaah. Save that until you're really in the shit house."
________________________________________________________________________
"I don't remember you smelling bad." - Caitlin
________________________________________________________________________
"So thusly, I am the master of fucked up stuff!!!" - Deej
________________________________________________________________________
"The greatest delight which the fields and woods minister, is the suggestion of an occult
relation between man and vegetable." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
________________________________________________________________________
"Oh! Oh! SHAZAM!!!" - Duffer
________________________________________________________________________
"My GOD! It's a hypnotized, drug-induced plethora of strange goodness!" - Elig
________________________________________________________________________
"Yeah, I have a plan. We're going to invade Israel, and rename it Jewfoundland." - Me
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"Jesus would slap the shit out of you." - Carter
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Elig - "Ignorance is bliss."
Deej - "No wonder I've been so happy lately."
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"I'm going to re-enforce my rosary beads with razor wire, so if any Muslims try to hijack the plane, *zwoop!*
Off go their fucking heads..." - Brad
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"I'm gonna get offline. Weird people come online at this hour...like us." - Mulligan
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - Einstein
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"Correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I'll eat a bug." - Deej
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"I just realized that I'm a complete fuckin' loser. Well, actually...I didn't 'realize' it so much as I 'remembered'
it." - Kurt
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"You shitting me? Best fucking thing to happen to me since weed." - Secor
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "I feel like my face is going to fall off any minute."
Dylan - "Could be worse...you could be Deuceface."
Me - "HAHA!"
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"If a stranger offers you a piece of candy, take two." - Erin
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"If you lost something, but you don't know what you lost, could you find it?" - Socrates
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"I laugh every time I hear the fish in the sea are thirsty." - Rumi
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"If you give it to get it, you don't got it. get it?" - Berry's Law
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"Do it to do it." - Hayden's Law
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"Whatever you do, don't miss the mark." - Kane's Law
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"Drink 'till you puke." - Hanrahan's Law
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"On to victory...life, or death." - Gundam 0080
__________________________________________________________________________________________
"You might think that the favorite plant of the porcupine is the cactus, but it's thinking like that that has
almost ruined this country." - Jack Handey
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "So, any word about Saturday yet?"
Ayla - "I asked my mom about a half hour ago and she said 'maybe.' And I said 'c'mon!' And she said 'I've seen
Pendragon several times.' And I said 'yeah, but not when Josh was playing with them!' And she said 'truuuuue.', and then said
'Billy, have you ever met Josh?' and Dad said, 'I think so.' And I said 'No you haven't, Dad!' And he said 'I don't think
I have.' Then he said 'Here. Have some ribs.' So I ate some ribs."
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"The midyear exam...Let me see, a thing that tests us and punishes us when we are halfway through the year (a
point at which we should be celebrating). It is such a paridox that if anyone tried to contemplate it's logic, their head
is likely to explode, and, within the cavity that was once a skull, a small but effective black hole will appear which would
suck in all matter within a three-block radius. Good morrow." - Foss
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"Sweetie, avoid fruits and nuts...for you are what you eat." - Erin
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"I may not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." - Ben Franklin
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Me - "My shirt reeks of chlorine and burnt rubber for some reason."
Erin *shouting* - "You were having sex with Kurt in a pool again, weren't you?!"
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Brad - "I'm hairy!!!"
*Everyone at the table cringes*
Foss - "Yeah, and get Lee Grande in there and you would start a fire!"
(For those of you who don't know him, don't bother trying to understand...)
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Ayla - "Kissing another guy is way gayer than having sex with another guy?"
Kurt - "Yes, and I'll tell you why. Having sex with another guy is just an act. If you're in jail, and somebody
has sex with you, it doesn't mean he's gay. He's doing it just because he's desperate. Alternatively, you can also be forced
to have sex with a guy. But, as soon as you kiss that man...a kiss being an act of passion, you are gay."
_________________________________________________________________________________________
*Chasing Vinacco down Foss' street*
Me - "Everyone's favorite I-talian! Get back here!"
Vinacco *winded* - "Jesus Christ, Kane!!!"
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"So this kid was convicted of rape...his girlfriend said 'no', he gave her the hot meat injection anyway...what?"
- Mr. Corrigan
_________________________________________________________________________________________
*Mr. Berry taking attendance*
Mr. Berry - "Mike Bocanfusco?"
Petrella - "His car got hit. He's out waiting for the police."
Mr. Berry - "Ok...Steve Gruber?"
Petrella - "Yeah, Gruber's the one who hit him."
Mr. Berry - "Right...Dave Caliri?"
Petrella - "He was with Bocanfusco."
Mr. Berry - "Uh huh...and Tarbox?"
Petrella - "He was behind Gruber."
Mr. Berry - "Wow...what an freakin' amazing coincidence."
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"You won't gallop anymore, Alan. The horses will be quite safe. You'll save your pennies every week until you
can change that scooter into a car." - God Among Directors
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"Ferngully is the SHIT!" - Dylan
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"I got the cars, I got the bling bling, I got the bitches...I is!" - Mr. Berry
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Mr. Berry - "Inside all of us, there is a Jew."
Foss - "Kurt, did you eat another one?"
Kurt -
"Ach mein naben!"
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"Yeah, I'm going to commit a hate crime against that little bastard." - Alex
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"I have the best idea for senior prank...put 9 volt batteries in the toilets. When kids pee, they get zapped."
- Kenny
